Hillbilly Hog Fishing

As I'm sitting here waiting not so patiently to have this baby, I thought to get my mind of fthis wrenching backache, I'd write a blog post.  After all, last night came the best fodder for a story yet. 

Hillbilly Hog Fishing.

I know, what??? 

Well in the picture above, can you see two market weight hogs?  One's blackened by mud, and ones got a sunburn.  =)

Yesterday morning was my doctor appointment and our dear friend and neighbor Joyce came to watch the kids so we could go there by ourselves and not be bombarded with questions, like, "why do you have to take your pants off mom?" 

It was nice, I actually got the nap in the truck.  It was heavenly.  We got home and Joyce told us that the pigs got out and her husband Randy came to put them back, with a little bit of our other neighbors "help by phone" to tell him where they go.  What would we do without great people in our lives?

I won't even tell you how Joyce cleaned our house.

If I did, you'd probably kidnap her.  She totally didn't have to, but probably felt sorry for me. =)


It was grody.

I digress...now to the story at hand.

So when she left, Ron went out and counted the pigs.  The two big ones were gone.  They have a date with Moberg Meats in town on the 17th.  Not good. 

We went out looking for them and I actually spotted them in the lower part of the feedlot.  "Let's wait til the kids get home," Ron said as we sized up the situation.  "I think they're fine." He said.

"I don't think so," I said, they look dead. "They're okay", he said.

After supper, Cody went out there and came back up.  "Mom!  I hear from the yard.  Those pigs are stuck in the clay and cow poop.  I don't know how they're gonna get out." 

What?  How does a pig become stuck?  Aren't their bodies designed for mud? LOL!

Well after supper we all head down to the feedlot.  Because you know, it's not everyday that you get to see two supposed stuck hogs in your feedlot.  It was better than Heehaw with popcorn. 

Big D asked if there was a chain in the box of the four wheeler and Kara who was at this point on the sidelines, took it out to him. 

Then.got.chased.out.by.a.Charolais.  Not to laugh at our kids, but dang...it was so funny we all laughed.  First mistake, as soon as it started bucking at her a little, she took off running.  Second mistake...she ran right into the corner of the fence.  He was hauling butt right after her.  I've NEVER seen anyone climb a fence that fast.  She didn't stop until she was up about 7 feet.  "Can he still get me?" 

"I don't think he's a good climber." I said between giggles.  "IF he was going to hurt you for real, he would've smoked ya before you even got to the second sucker rod on the fence.  He was just playing around." 

Now she got to see what we get to deal with every day.
 

That's Big D taking a breather from trying to push the pig out.  He's gathered quite the crowd.  Sorry for the bad pic, you'll have to just imagine this little scenario in your mind.  There's Cody with the chain that they wrapped around it's belly and both pulled. 

Well, they eventually got it pulled out, and we got them both out of the feedlot.  What an ordeal.  Then it was trying to get them back up to the hog pen.  So after we got boots scraped and sprayed off, had a kid in the shower, a kid in the kitchen sink and another kid in the bathroom sink (it was getting late, come on work with me here!) 

I got yet another uncomfortable question after I was tucking in and kissing good nights...

"Mom, can you still smell feedlot on me?"

Sincerely,

Fairchild "I'm going to try to invent something that will get the crap smell off of my kids so they can go to school the next day". Farmgirl

Here She Is To Save The Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now read the title of this blog over again in a sing song fashion...I kid!  Only if the mood strikes you. 

By the way, I figured I needed to blog since God gave us a wonderful rain this past weekend.  I've said before that I'm as spotty as a rain shower, well, here I am.

Back to the story:

Now, for some of you this story is a repeat.  If you've seen Grace (pictured above) in the gas station, the grocery store, the post office or if you've stopped out at the farm to buy a tomato, you've heard it already.  It's a good one, and she claims she's a cow hero, so here it is, one more time...

Our daughter Kara and I were up testing grapes for the buyer as well as doing some picking from what the cow birds had missed (last year we were told that birds were color blind and not to worry about our white grapes.  Apparently they got contacts or had a optometrist visit, because they cleaned out 70% the whites in three days.) Argh!

Grace and her little sister were riding their bikes around the cattle pens and raced up to where we were at. 

"MOM!  There's a cow in the west pen having a baby!"

What?    I thought to myself?  That pen is all steers.  We have taught the kids to come tell us when there is something out of the ordinary so I thought I better check on it. 

We all load up in the big wheeler and head down to see a steer on it's side, severely bloated, and...

Big D.not.around.

Dang it!  BTW, Big D could be here 6 months straight and things would go so smoothly, the minute he leaves, I seriously think the critters plot against me.  That day he was putting in a kitchen in town.

I crawled over the gate as fast as a 8 month pregnant 38 year old could go and went to size up the situation. 

NOT GOOD.

By this time, he had banged his head against the ground so many times that his eye had swelled shut.  I tried to get him up myself and that wasn't working.  I called Ron and told him, then found one of my wonderful neighbors on his tractor and convinced him that he needed to come with me.  After all, I only needed him for "10 minutes" ...LOL!

After trying to shove a hose down his throat unsuccessfully to try and get the gas out, I called the vet and thought maybe we could stick him (with a knife) as long as we knew the exact area to do it in.  You have to be pretty precise. 

Just then, Ron pulled up, got the bobcat and helped the steer to his feet with the bucket.  You could tell that the bovine felt better already just by being on his feet.  Then the vet showed up and used the coolest tool ever. 

See that red circle on it's back?  That is to keep it from bloating.  The vet uses that to keep the bloated stomach open then as the stomach heals, the cork screw works itself out.  Isn't veterinary medicine fascinating?  Well, it is to me.  Later that evening Big D and I went to a baseball fundraiser where we sat with a married couple who live down the road from us.  He showed me how to do it with an IV needle if I'm ever in that situation again and alone.  Very cool. 

So, if you see Grace out and about ask her about her heroism...she'll look at you with those serious blue eyes of hers and tell you, "Yep, I saved it's life. You know, it's always important to look through the cows and see if you see anything strange.  If you do, you gotta tell your mom or dad."

Sincerely,
I think my kids rock, Fairchild Farmgirl.

When The Jig Is Up

Remember when you were a kid and if you lived on a farm like these three (mine) you had imaginations and you could make a great toy out of just about anything? 

Well sometimes you get in trouble with that attitude. 

Each night I bathe these three and there is actual grit/sand/corn screenings/mud or whatever else you can imagine in the bottom of the tub.

In this particular picture they snuck down in the bunk and got into corn screenings.  At first I thought this was some pig feed, but Ron filled the big feeder so...

this.kind.of.thing.wouldn't.happen.

As you can see, they're all white, Maggie on the left is laughing because that's what she does when she gets in trouble (yikes), Levi is crying because he's full of drama (yikes again), and Jessica well, she was just along for the heck of it (see Farmgirl's hair turn gray).

My favorite dirty memory as a kid? Having to screen the cat poop out of our gravel pile with old window screens each morning before my brother and I could play in it.

Looking back at the house that I grew up in with five siblings, looked like ones that I paint.

 Abandoned and scary looking.

I also think back at how my parents didn't have running water and when we had to take a bath it sure the heck wasn't every night and water had to be hauled in and boiled (and I recall being this dirty a lot!). 

I know...I AM only 38.    Those were some hard times back in the 80's when they farmed.  My but my grandparents lived in Minneapolis and were very wealthy, so going there was such a treat!  I remember taking long baths every night and because of this, I still love the smell of yellow Dial soap.

Okay, I went down memory lane and missed the road sign that said "you can stop now".

Back to these three.  They were at it again tonight, except they were playing "garden" in the huge clay pile and walking through duck poop with bare feet.

"Mom!  Get your kids in the tub!"  As Ron hauls them in one by one without letting them touch the floor and straight to the waiting bath. 

Then as I took Jessica's diaper off it was full...

of clay.

Come on, she's a farm kid!

Fairchild Farmgirl

Saturday Shorty...When You're Upside Down

Just remember, somebody out there will find you and help you out (or right side up).

Good evening folks...enjoy this beautiful weather, our families, freedoms, this country and anything else that is appreciated. 

Your busy, (but hopefully not too busy for my readers very soon....I'm truly sorry about that friends.)

Fairchild Farmgirl.

Random Acts Of Farm Babies

Baby chick.

Not all babies here are animals...here's a Ginger Gold Apple.

Baby ducklings.

Baby kitties.  Two lived three died.  First time momma.

This is Oreo/Stormy/Cereal.  This was Big D's calf, but he's graciously selling it to  pay for Grace's horse to be trained.

These are black raspberries, not quite yet ripe.

This is our hoop barn with out the plastic up.  It's all planted.

Baby grape clusters.

To round out our baby chapter, here's some baby pigs on the run.  Have a great day!

The Stakeout

 Sweetie the heifer who decided one day to stick her head in the front door to see what was up.  Right through the screen.

This year I thought I'd be battling bugs and weeds in my fruit crops. 

Not so.

I've got a critter battle going on, and that's the worst kind.  On our farm, I'm in charge of all the fruit and vegetables.  This year I'm hoping that you will see a self serve stand or two called "Fairchild Farmgirl Produce" around our neck of the woods.

That is, if I can keep these animals out of everything. 

Let me just say that when I first saw my strawberry bed, I was delighted.  Tons of blossoms on all my plants.  'This is my year!,' I thought foolishly.  Then I left them alone.  A watched pot never boils right?  I went back a week later only to see strawberry plants eaten.

WHAT?  Then I saw her the next day.  Sweetie.  Eating my strawberry patch to her hearts delight.

Out in the apples it was the same story.  All my Honey crisp blossoms eaten along with inches of leafed out branch.  "Big D!  There's something eating my apple blossoms!  You need to find it and kill it."  I snapped at the poor man who had too much to do already.

"I know what it is." He told me with a laugh.  "It's big and black and weighs close to 900 pounds.  Find a way to keep her in and you'll be fine."

Dang Sweetie!

So finally we put up a fence that could keep her in.  Five jewels of snap that she doesn't even look at anymore. 

Problem solved? 

Nope. 

Out in the strawberries, I notice that the plants are growing again, but the blossoms aren't there.  Then I spot her...a hen.  Eating blossoms. 

Dang chicken!

I called up Don Denekamp and told him I had a gift for him, a hen that eats strawberries.  He took her and put her in his chicken coop.

Problem solved?  Nope. 

The vicious circle keeps a spinin'.

"Mom!  Your sheep are out in the apple trees and they're eating them!"  Why aren't they just "my sheep" when the lamb check comes?

"Mom!  Your sheep are out in the grapes again!  They're not even touching the grass, just eating leaves and clusters!"  When did they grow?  They shouldn't even be able to reach the clusters.

That's right, we haven't tightened sagging wires yet. 

Last night D and I drove around the place and found that the sheep were out once again.  But guess what?  We found out where they were getting out!  Found some tell tale signs of wool sticking to the fence.  We're a modern day Sherlock Holmes detective team! 

Later on, I was feeling pretty good about the whole deal and doing dishes, when Big D comes in and shouts...


"Your stupid dog is eating chicken eggs again and got'em all over her face!" 

My stupid dog? 

Happy Trails,

"Defender of Food", Fairchild Farmgirl

PS I was out checking strawberries just now and my stupid dog was eating them too.  I think it's going to be harder giving away a smelly New Foundland, so I better find a way to deal with her, right? 

Hello World!

Here's Mamma Puff's little brood as they explore...the barn yard by the hog feed bulk tank.  Not exactly the world but imagine how big it is to them?

Old Mamma had to make a hard decision however.  Probably not hard for her at all.  She's an animal after all.  She took her six and decided that the rest of the nest wasn't worth setting on.  So she up and left it...with all those eggs.  We cracked two open, one wasn't fertile but rotten and the foam shot across the kitchen landing on the pizza that I hadn't put away yet from dinner. 

Sorry Cody, no leftovers for breakfast.

After a few sprays of Lysol and opening up all the windows, we were back in business.  We cracked another.  There was a baby chick inside, but dead.  For the eggs to be still "with live chick" they need to be at a constant temp and if that temp gets cold for more than 4 hours, they are dead.  That's what happened we think. 

But, she also had to get these 6 to feed and water within 48 hours so they would live.   I wish we'd have come along sooner, but she had these hidden in the barn. 

So, now you know the story...the one thing that we now worry about is...

Cats.

Signing off,
Fairchild Farmgirl