Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Early Morning Conversations With A Sheep...Welcome To Motherhood
When I came out to the barn this morning, I was exhilarated (yes exhilarated) by baby lamb cries.
After all, I thought that the Obama discussion on birth control had hit the sheep barn.
Thank God they're all Republicans out there...
SO after sizing up the situation, I started talking to Petunia, the first time mother. This is how it went:
Me: "Oh Tuner, look at that cute baby you had!"
Petunia: "Are you talking to me? Why I didn't have anything such. Wait....I think I'm a little constipated, I have to lay down for a minute. I seemed to be a little backed.up.here. Whew....what did I eat?"
Me: "Look she had a twin!"
Ron: "Well, what are they?"
Petunia: "Exactly what I was gonna say. What the heck are those things?"
Me: "Okay Tunia, your going to have to lick these off. "
Petunia: "WHAT?? "
Ron: "Darn, sheep are stupid".
Petunia: "Ah hem! I'm right here you know!"
Me: "Seriously Petunia, this is getting old. Lick them off. NOW."
Then I stick her nose on them.
Petunia: "What was that for? Now look you've gone and made them whine even more and I've got this slime stuff in my nose! Sick. I'm telling you, they're not mine! Now if you'll excuse me, It seems my flock has left me for morning hay. I'll just saunter off down the path to the hay. Good luck." She mutters under her breath, "they probably belong to tag # 26. She's such an airhead!"
Me: "Oh no you don't," as I struggle to keep her in. Then I put one up to her face again.
Petunia: Stopping dead in her tracks, she looks at them. "That smell, I just can't place it, but it's so familiar. For some reason, which is beyond my knowledge, I just HAVE to lick them right now." Lick, lick. "This is gross, but it feels like I need to do it."
Ron: "Get her in the jug before she decides to ditch them."
Petunia: "Oh I don't think I can." she mutters. "I don't know why, but I can't leave them." She's acting like she's having a serious change of heart. "Now to just keep them quiet, got any ideas?"
Me: "Tunes, your gonna have to feed them." By this time we've been in the barn for 45 minutes. I put them next to her udder and she bolts even though we are in crammed quarters, she tries to climb over me to get out.
Petunia: "That's where I draw the line. I'll de-slime them, but I will not feed them. For Pete's sake, I don't even know the first thing about it!"
Ron: "Lets leave them alone for an hour and come back. Then if we have to we'll tie her up and make her nurse them."
An hour or so later, we came back to the barn. There she is nursing away and loving on them.
Petunia: "Did you know that this bag between my back legs has food in it for these babies? Apparently they like it and they are getting it themselves which is even better. I just stand here. Easy peasy! I guess that just isn't to impress the ram like I thought!"
Me: "Good job Tunes! They are so cute!"
Ron: I miss goats!
In need of much sleep if I'm writing down sheep conversations I think I've had,