Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Well...I Guess We'll Have To Hook Up.

As we've all noticed, it's gotten pretty cold outside lately.  So we've closed the book on a lot of things on our farm, but we've opened a few too.  One in particular is mating. 

Yup...I said it. 

Don't get all excited...

Ron and I...well we usually are done in September.

 I'm so kidding. 

I needed to make an article about "duck sex" funnier than what it really is.  Actually, the act between two ducks is hysterical.  I watch it take place with the oddest of pairings on the farm through my kitchen window while I do the morning dishes.

Two things...who says being a farm wife isn't exciting and who needs America's Funniest Home Videos?

By the way, it happens on or near my front porch, like clock work around eightish every morning. 

Here's the drake right here.  The green headed duck with the curled up tail feather.  I call him Sean Connery, he certainly has an ere of sophistication about him, eh?

Here's the female.  I call her Edith from All In The Family.  For being so prim an fancy looking, she's a ding dong.  Do you notice the pom pom of feathers on the back of her head? 

Here's where the funny comes in. 

Every morning, around eightish said female is getting out of the dog's water dish after her morning bath.  Sean Connery duck sneaks up on her, jumps on her back and (this is something to see) grabs a hold of her pom pom and tries to...you know.  He mounts her but keeps falling off either side, still holding onto her pom pom. 

After a few minutes of climbing, falling, climbing, feather pulling, head pulling, trying to hold on for dear life with his beak, it's done. Then he lays down next to her.  He never messes with the other females, just her.  I'm thinking if they all had pom poms he'd be a busy guy. 

This is the meanest goose around that frightens little children, cats and even dog at times.  He's always milling around with the ducks like a protection dog.

I think he sees me watching the whole affair some mornings and shoots me a look as if to say, "shows over, get your damn dishes done.  I'm sure it's not pretty in your bedroom either."

"I really need a vacation when the goose starts shaming me"
Fairchild Farmgirl

1 comment:

  1. It's like the Farmgirl's version of "Sex in the City". xoxo Terah