Monday, February 20, 2012

Crabby Monday With Fairchild Farmgirl

Does anyone of you have animal that you think mocks you?  I do and here she is. 

Listen, I dont' know what her problem is, but she needs to start realizing that I'm the ONLY one that keeps her off the Wednesday sale barn truck. 

Thank you, brat.

So here's my story:  and it's true.

I went out this morning with my two cow pokes; Maggie and Jessica.  As soon as we stepped out on the front porch I knew something was up.  The tattle tale gang was in full force.  The horse was pawing at the ground and the geese were in front of my sheep/horse/chicken/calf/kitchen sink barn honking to beat the band. 


Where's Sweetie?

I thought, "she probably jumped the fence and is down in the feedlot."  Boy was I wrong.

First guess?

I tried opening the door and a fallen pitchfork would only let me open it about 5 inches.  What the heck?  Then I felt it....

As I'm picking up the pitchfork and trying to get the door open, I feel it.  Breath on my arm.  No, I'm not worried about a stalker...I knew who this was and she was dead meat. 

"SWEETIE!  BACK UP!" I yelled at her as I finally pushed the door open.  There it barn in complete shambles.  I don't know how long she was in there, but she had enough time to eat all the horse feed, a bunch of calf starter and I have a ton and half of cracked corn that I feed her and the chickens and she'd definitely been in there. 

"Argh!" I shouted as I examined the mess.  She pooped ALL OVER!  The really bad part of the whole deal is, she got out by busting the boards on the bunk and she had to JUMP over a bunk that was 4 feet high.  She's no graceful swan so I'm sure it wasn't pretty. 

But, this was my fault.  I don't think I told the kids her new ration, so I'm sure she was getting out because she was hungry. 

My bad.

Oh but her shenanigans were not over.  I was so mad at her, I shooed her out of the barn to let her run wild until Big D could fix that bunk. 

She promptly went to the waters that I filled for the dog, geese and ducks and spilled and drank all for 4 buckets.  Then she ate all the dogs food.  Isn't that cannibalism?

Something that made me laugh?  The gray goose got to close to her and she flung it in the air with her head.  SO FUNNY!  That goose hit the ground and squawked like he was telling on her. AWESOME.

We went back in the house, she's out a lot and she sticks around so it didn't bother me.  Besides what more could she do? 

Hee hee...

Yes, it's what you see.  She's pulling bags of garbage out of the dumpster!!!!


That's the dog with her.  Yeah right Sweetie, I'm sure it was her idea.  =(

And my friend Arla thought her parents cattle would teach Sweetie bad manners?  Seriously, could it get any worse?

Big D was gone still and my blood was boiling so instead of waiting five minutes so I wouldn't want to kill her AS BAD, I take off outside and try to shush her back in the pen.  I could see that this was a cattle stick moment so I grabbed it.  it wasn't the Hotshot or the 22 with bird shot like I wanted but I thought a few taps on her rump and she would go in. 

Sadly, no.

I think the horse is a secret agent for an animal rights group so of course she sees me with the stick and goes wacko like I'm going to kill Sweetie.  She debates jumping over a 5 foot fence.  No I'm not kidding.  So, I realize that the only way Sweetie will go in is opening the gate all the way and let the horse get out and then get them in together.

Reread I really that stupid?

Yes, folks I am.

Before I knew it, they blew right past me and were hauling tail down the driveway.  Thank you LORD that Big D pulled in the driveway as this was happening.  He laid on the horn and blocked the driveway.  It was working out great.  The horse came to D and he started petting Sweetie.  he got them going in the right direction, until that heifer of mine decided that she wasn't going in the pen just yet.  Before you knew it, we were on a goose chase that would last 1/2 hour and two times in our old grove.  I pulled burrs out of my yoga pants for 15 minutes.  She still has about 100 of them in her fur, but that's fine I'll take care of her in the morning. 

Today has ended well though.  There was a delightful snow, all my kids were playing in it tonight, I punted and made up a new recipe called cheesy taco soup and we had a load of 8 weight heifers come into the feedlot.  As the snow fell Ron and I counted heifers coming off the lit up trailer and it was a beautiful sight. 

Good night, sleep tight.  I'll have visions of a 800 pound cow jumping over feed bunks...
Fairchild Farmgirl


  1. Thanks for the blog post. We've had days like that on our farm. My daughter and I enjoyed reading. Blessings, Melissa

  2. That is hilarious!! We don't have any animals right now, but someday I think I'd like to have cows, but then again, we'll just have to see! ;)