Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Big Red is Big Trouble

Big Red, I'm disappointed in you.  For the last month, I treated you like a princess, would put you by yourself in a pen alone with soft straw bedding, fresh water that you didn't have to share and some of my own hay that I covet for my sheep. 


You maybe able to see her little calf that she finally had behind her.  That cow is the devil, I'm not kidding.  When pregnant, she'd lay around, acting as if she didn't have a care in the world.  Now she she gets so mad if you even look at her baby she literally wants to kill you.

Last night I was throwing hay over the continuous fence (over 6 feet high) and she looked at me as if to scream, "If I didn't have this gigantic udder that would probably snag on a bolt and spray the entire county with milk, I'd go over that fence and run you over!"  She sat there, giving me a glare (yeah, I didn't know cows could glare either) she was so mad.  She was puffing her cheeks and pawing at the ground.  She looked like a squirrel.  A mad cow squirrel.

Sorry Red, you did look pretty ridiculous!

Tomorrow she hits the road with 2 other non-performers.  She can't be sold when others go because of her ginormous utter, so she'll have to be sold separate and hang out at someone else's feedlot for a while.  Or maybe, just maybe somebody will buy her to put out with their herd and she will get another lease on life.

Tonight, Ron or I will sneak in her pen, like two"calf" burglars and steal her baby.  That sounds so mean, but nobody keeps their calves here.  That's the nature of the beast.  Let's hope that we don't get the "shist" kicked out of us while we're doing it!  (Shist - manure from a cow on a hot ration, kind of like "pist"- pee/mist  combination.  Both homemade words from my "How to Talk Feedlot in 30 Days" book. Also listed in, "I'll Still Be Famous When Covered In Shist".

Happy Trails,


  1. Best of luck with the calf-burgling. My money's on Big Red. Udder or not, bet she can move @ the speed of light. CowgirlRed. T

  2. Great blog and I enjoyed your family's website! I look forward to following you.

  3. Glad you stopped by my blog. I must say, I remember the time or so when we had cows that were evil! Not fun. Definitely time to say good riddance!

  4. squirrel cow!! hilarious!!
    Ash B