Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Watch Out Gwenyth, I'm Just a Brand Away.

Well folks,

I decided to get branded.  No, no, not with a hot iron stick and Big D's name on my butt, but for the Fairchild Farmgirl blog. It's kind of like making your name heard, like a namebrand shoe or perfume.  Okay, maybe not that famous.  I'm no Gwenyth Paltrow selling my name on Estee Lauder perfume...not yet anyway.  Although...the other night we were checking pens and I got too close to a cow that was peeing. Some splashed up on my hand then I scratched an itch on my neck... (come on, I was going to take a shower right way, don't judge!) But then Big D did hold my hand and give me a kiss as we finished checking for calves.  That get's me thinking, what would I call my perfume line?  I mean if I ever did get famous?  Estee Udder?  That's pretty catchy, huh?

Now I know that I'm not going to be famous overnight.  But if I ever am, and I'm invited to go on the Jay Leno show or something, I just want you to know that I'll always be the same old Suzanne you all know.  Here's ten things that I will always do, famous or not.

  1. Always wash my kids with my spit.   Come on, you know you've done it too.
  2. Drive the same 200+ thousand mile Yukon with the deer ding on the side.  Wait...if I'm famous, can I at least get new tires and figure out what makes the engine light turn on (for the last 3 years)?
  3. Have a secret obsession with Johnny Lee the 80's country singer.  Even Big D rolls his eyes at this.  He's probably on oxygen since he's getting up there in years, but if he can take his mask off to sing "Cherokee Fiddle" for me one more time, I'd be a happy lady. (I guess it's not a secret anymore, is it?)
  4. Wear a hooded sweatshirt.  Purse plus diaper bag equals big pocket in front, not? (You non believers haven't carried two kids and a car seat at once.)
  5. Still be late on our fuel bill (I'm so sorry, how much do we owe you?).  I said famous...not rich.
  6. Think my barn boots are trendy.
  7. Still embarrass my kids.  "Mom, I can't believe you didn't wash the sheep's blood and after birth off your pants before you picked us up!" Oops, sorry...not really. Hee hee. 
  8. Still pee outside when our home's Flinstone era plumbing breaks down.  Watch out for the dog's cold nose if it's dark outside, zing!
  9. Threaten to sell naughty kids at the sale barn and get new ones to try out, then fake call the trucker to pick them up. 
And most importantly,

  10.  Still call cutting the strings off the manure spreader beaters "date night".

Yeah, I don't think Gwenyth has much to worry about.  Do you?  So anyway, I hope you and Jay Leno friend Fairchild Farmgirl on Facebook and put my blog on desktop or subscribe by email.  I'll try not to let you down, k?

Happy Trails,

PS, Visit my friend Jean Menden @ she's going through the same stuff.

1 comment:

  1. OK here's a comment for you in the heck do you think all of this up each night? My brain is not wired that way. I still wear hooded sweatshirts and have not had any diapers for ages. But horse treats and carrying stuff to and from the shop make the sweatshirt a built in purse for me too.