Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What Did You Wreck Now?

It's no secret.  I mow in "road gear" or as my husband calls it, "Balls to the Wall".  I don't do it for the thrill of speeding through our grapes, our large yard,  the trails and the apple trees.  I do it because I don't have time to dilly dally.  That's right, there's no dilly dallying around here for me. 

To do all the mowing around here, takes a good four hours.  That's with the rider and Cody running our "Miss Greenie" (she's our orchard tractor) with the pull behind mower.  By the way, you know you are mowing too much when you have to kiss your kids good-bye and pack a sack lunch in the morning and your able to eat it while letting your mower cool off. 

We got a new mower this year, not new, just new to us.  Here's something about me that you may not know.  I fear change.  What if my old Husquavarna rider would choke every 5 minutes and have black smoke roll out of it like an 80's heavy metal band was about to perform?  Here's the thing...I didn't know how to run this new one.  When you think about it, I'm such a dork.  This mower has a way bigger deck, foot petals, still no power steering (but I'm not complaining, I only have to mow for FOUR hours) and I could mow over a cow in the feedlot and it wouldn't quit.

Here's another thing, mowing the Fairchild farm is a teeth clincher.  No kidding the grass gets about 5 inches tall in five days, or taller.  Sometimes you don't pick up everything because quite frankly, you can't see it, then you hear it: CRUNCH!!!!!!  Here's a list of everything I've ran over:
  • Pop cans and pop bottles, I have told my kids that I will call the police about littering and "how will you come up with money for a seven hundred dollar fine Missy??"
  • Rocks.  This new mower split one in half.  Yeah I'm bragging.
  • Twine, twine and more twine.  Then it's down to the cattle shed to get the bobcat to lift up the front end of the mower and cut and untangle.  Big D really loves doing this as you can imagine.
  • Shoes.  Someday my kids will realize that if you don't take care of something that you need either myself or the dog will get it.
  • Kitchen utensils.  "But Mom!  I needed that to make a dirt pie.  Taste it, it looks as good as your food you make."  Honestly, someday they will know that's not a compliment.  Brown nosers!
  • My frying pan.  May you rest in peace trusty friend.  "No I can't use it anymore.  It's in a square shape and is missing the handle." 
  • Hoses.  You just can't see these until you are right on top of it. Man!  Big D also doesn't like this.
  • Wire.  Again, down to the shed.  Watch D's face get red.

    The grossest of all time?
    • A rat.  Yes, I'm serious.  It was a shock to both of us (me and the rat).  In fact me, whose deathly afraid of vermin (I won't even let my kids get a  hamster) rode the lawn mower all the way up to the house, freaking out all the way.  I had the willies so bad, that even as I type this I'm getting goosebumps! 
    Oh the horror.  You know I'm going to tell you the story.  We all love to hate grossness.

    It was my bright idea to mow down by the bins on a nice summer day.  Big D had just moved the round bales and apparently some rats had taken shelter in them.  About five minutes after he moved those, I took action.  Before he was going to put something else there, I was going to mow the weeds down.  After my first swipe, I looked back at my progress.  'Very Nice', I thought to myself.  I went to do a second swipe. That's when I heard the "kerchunk" of course my teeth were clenched because who knows what kind of landmines are waiting for me (I have a headache from doing this for four hours after my four hour mowing).  I quickly turned to see what I hit and there it was.  A rat still alive but cut in down the center.  I still swear I saw his heart beating.  He was on his back, kind of sitting up, propped up against the weeds.  Eeks!  Hold on, I need to call in a session with a counselor, I'll be right back...  

    Okay I'm back.  He said, "the rat thing?  Get a grip. Your not coming in...I'm having dinner with my family."

    Seriously, I hope this gave you a little chuckle.  I know I do my best lawn work when D's gone.  Then he gets home and shakes his head and asks, "What did you wreck this time?"

    Happy Trails!

    1 comment:

    1. Haha that is so funny. I now need therapy over the rat. This year so far I have run over a dog chain and 2 horse shoes. One horse shoe ended up impaled in the side of the shed. I also discovered a comforting safety feature.... When I turn to fast in my zero radius and unseat myself....the mower turns itself off. Nice to know. Terrah